Not a Sidekick! Chapter 2. Part 1!

Chapter 2: Can this get ANY worse?

For a few moments the only noise inside the car is panicked breathing and turn signals. The emotional eye of the storm is not the easiest place to process. Finding the ability to speak is difficult and accepting the reality around you even more so. Both of them are still hoping, BEGGING their subconscious to wake them up from this nightmare.

“GOAT BONE?” Burns brings back up with angry confusion.

“I KNOW!”

“WHAT is up with that?!”

“WHAT ARE GONNA DO?” Leo shouts.

“STOP YELLING!” Burns yells before letting out a sharp yelp. “YOWCH!” He digs into his pants pocket to produce the purple spattered murder weapon. “Oh that’s just GREAT! Just stellar! You got any magic scumbag friends that can help us ditch this??”

“Ditch it? We gotta DESTROY that thing, it’s evidence!”

“Listen numb nuts, magically charmed items ain’t so easy to get rid of. I should know I’ve had to dispose of plenty and it’s a fucking headache everytime if you don’t know magic.” He turns the blade to examine its grisly features further “...especially this one.”

“So what? We gotta de-magic it so we can make sure nobody EVER sees it???” Leo interprets.

“Exactly so I’mma ask again, do you know any magic dealers that can do JUST that?”

To answer this question Leo starts to frantically pat his blood stained pant pockets for his phone. “...I might. Hold on I think I know a guy who might have some clue to-”

“Good enough, gimme an address.”

Burns has to endure the worst of mid-day traffic in Anchor City which is particularly more difficult when covered in sticky and surprisingly sweet smelling blood. The apartment where they are going for salvation was so deep into the metropolitan part of the city that Burns had to park somewhere he was liable to get 4 tickets and a towing.

“You’re sure this is the place??” he asks, nervously eyeing his car.

“Yeah. Did a few small jobs for some hack wannabe magicians, they always made me stop here to pick up their mystical odds and ends. Sometimes they would sell magical items and couldn’t be bothered to do the drop themselves. The dude also sells shrooms from time to time so I kept his number.”

“Lovely.” Burns remarks.

“Try not to sound as judgy inside, yeah?” Leo says as he presses the buzzer.

“...Who and what?” the raspy voice erupted.

“Leo and… a favor.”

“I don’t know any Leo and I CERTAINLY don’t do any favors for them!”

Leo sighs deeply before pressing the button again and saying “...I’m the dude who tried to sell you those…enchanted anal beads.”

After a harrowing silence a buzzer goes off and the two enter the mildew stenched lobby. Leo climbs the stairs and Burns follows until they reach a door that could be a six or an upside down nine. It’s hard to tell because the numbers around it were 3 and 14. Burns knocks twice and is immediately given an angry shock like a taser to his knuckles.

“Yeah ya should’ve let me do that.” says Leo. Burns just gives him a dirty look and a threat to wallop him with his uninjured fist. The door cracks open 3 inches, still locked by a chain. Half a face appears to scan us with wide addled eyes.

“Okay ‘Leo’ you helped me out of a jam I’ll give you that but what kind of ‘favor’ are we talking about?” The fraction of a face asked us through the door.

“We just need something disenchanted and we will be on our way!” Leo says with forced cheeriness which rang hollow inside him because of the genuine panic still coursing through him.

“That all? Well hold on, what is it?” he asks, prompting Burns to begin to rifle his pockets for it. When he produces it, there are still purple stains all around it. Something the magic dealer clocked immediately. “...what’s it covered in?”

“Are we really asking questions at this point?” Leo says without hesitation. It proves the checkmate at this impasse because after thinking it over the door slams and the jingle jangle of the chain. It cracks open to reveal a long hair individual in a mustard stained sleeveless shirt and boxers. His eyes are wide but his posture is relaxed; an oddly off-putting combination.

“Please enter. I imagine a guy who sold me what you sold me is on the level. I don’t know if you remember but my name is Sebastian.”

“What’s up Sebastian, how have those mystical marital aids serving you?” Leo asked, boldly, Burns thinks in this given circumstances.

“All I am going to say is they did what they were meant to do. Now please place the item on the table.” The table in question was a folding one in his kitchen that had several unwashed plates with a variety of decaying meals on them. Burns chooses the space between maggot covered Chinese takeout and what can only be ramen with a month of mold on top. Sebastian takes a chair right next to it. Both of them watch over his shoulders.

“Now the key to disenchanting something is-” he begins but Burns cuts him off.

“Pal I can assure you neither of us give a single rat’s ass. Spare us the lesson and let’s just get to the final product, eh?”

“Apologies Seb, we both have had a really rough morning.” Leo explained.

“Is that why you both are covered in the same thing that THIS is covered with?” Sebastian asked. But with a glance from the duo he went “Right. No questions…probably the best.” He cracked his knuckles and his eyes went white as silverware and plates rattle as the disenchantment process started. But before it go too far, Sebastian runs into a problem which causes him to briefly tilt his head in confusion before being violently propelled between Leo and Burns and into the wall behind him. The two just stare mildly surprised because ANYTHING at this point is going to be the SECOND most shocking thing they see. Sebastian quickly rips himself from the drywall with a hand up to nonverbally signal he is okay. The wind must’ve been knocked right out of him. “Okay so two things.” He announced. “One. My deposit is TOTALLY fucked! But TWO…that thing is packing some magical potential you two did NOT mention.”

“Whaddya mean ‘magical potential’ what is that?” Burns asked defensively.

“I saw that it has a tether enchantment of always returning but that isn’t all it has.” Seb started to explain as he dusted off plaster from his boxers.

“Well all it should have is that return thing.” Leo said.

“And I am telling you I just got bitch slapped through my perfectly good wall because that AIN’T the case!” He bends forward to stretch his back and several cracks occurred. “Oh that’s gonna hurt tomorrow!”

“So you can’t disenchant it?” Burns asked.

“Obviously!” Seb snaps.

“Perhaps I can be of assistance.” A fourth voice sounds from a seat at the kitchen table that was NOT occupied a minute ago. All three of them are startled into looking at the new participant of the conversation.

Sitting at the table, nibbling on some days old Indian food was an individual in a black suit, red tie and bleeding eyes. Their hair was slicked to the point where it looked impervious to head shots. After a few moments of drinking in the trio’s surprise it chooses to speak again.

“Greetings boys. I happen to be very interested in that little weapon of yours.”

“Who the hell are you?” Burns asked.

“I know who you are you’re-” but before Sebastian could go any further with a flick of the strangers wrist he vanished but not before letting out an agonizing scream.

“Where did you send him??” Leo questioned.

“If it helps he is already dead.” The stranger remarks while sniffing the curry before consuming some. “...besides I want to talk to YOU two!” Their mouth is full as they inform them.

“What do you want? If it’s the blade you want then you’re in luck we ain’t interested in keeping it.” Burns said but Leo puts his hand on his shoulder to stop him.

“You’re a demon aren’t you?” Leo asked.

“I am.”

“Which means nothing YOU want…is good for us.” said Leo with defiant arms crossed stance. All this does is elicit a loud belly laugh from the demon.

“AHAH…haha…ah… I take it you’ve dealt with a few of my kind?” it asked.

“Never met anybody who did… and that trend right there is exactly why I am feeling like a tiger is loose in this room.” Leo said, causing another knee slapping fit of laughter. When it dies down the creature of chaos finally replies.

“...well I assure you it is in your best interest to give me that little blade of yours because you are definitely wrong on one account.”

“Oh yeah?” Burns blurted to assert his masculinity.

“Indeed. I am FAR worse than any tiger.” The demon says with a smile that disrupts the constant blood flowing from their eyes.

Another update in the books! Let me know if your digging what I am typing because man oh man do I have a STORY for these two to go on. Comment thoughts and subscribe if you haven’t! Tomorrow is the next post and after that it will become my weekly Wednesday post!