Tales of Terrepikos

What makes a story...a good story?

One knows it when they hear it. A tale so fun and thrilling it becomes a little bolt of energy inside that won’t leave until you bother someone else with it. Unfortunately, due to such dreadful things like “individual taste” there is no definite answer to this.

However;

One can safely assume that any story worth telling twice has one undeniable ingredient.

The unexpected.

What value does any story have if it’s obvious some chiseled hero with a very long name will vanquish something, somewhere in the name of…someone! A good story keeps one guessing and craving an ending instead of seeing it coming!

Take the addicting allure of gossip for example.

Nobody rushes home to tell their family the sun will set tonight. No! They slam the door open and say “The town blacksmith has been fired and they found out who was violating all the town’s goats.”

Take Prince Hullen for instance. Him single handedly holding back an army for days upon the Mountains of Toc is no small tale. However it is not his bravado that makes the tale worth telling twice. It was the unexpected fact that the invaders had the mountaineering experience of fish with the wrong maps. Generations of the Prince’s people would refer to it as “Prince Hullen’s Triumph” when in truth a more accurate title would be “The Day of Thousand Accidental Suicides” but in truth it is less catchy.

Ah. War and the boring reasons they happen.

One side has or says one thing. The other side disagrees. Fighting ensues until one side gets crowned “least dead” and then eventually will have or say one thing that someone disagrees with.

When in reality it’s hysterical how many of them start because someone important was caught in women’s clothes and war was easier than explaining. That’s just a drop of water in the ocean of all the pointless little embarrassments that lead to war that never reach a history book.

What is the point of all of this?

If someone is telling a story and the other person only seems to be nodding politely at pauses, chances are they’d rather be licking a tree than be there.

Another question you might have is; who am I?

Nobody at all. I am not a part of where my tales take place, nor do I have any say in how things turn out. I have no form nor agenda. I am merely a narrator trying to do what narrators do;

…tell a good story.

Best not to overthink it.

Now you may hate gossip and love stories you’ve heard thousands of times with no surprises. There’s no shame in that!

However;

If you are one of these individuals; some advice. Finish this book once or twice. Maybe a third stab for good measure! Perhaps eventually with enough revisits it can become one of your familiar favorites. If not? Eh, I tried right?

Okay. I think they’re gone. Now for that story I promised.

It begins in a place called Terrepikos. A vast land with no shortage of stories to tell simply because it is far from boring. Every nook and cranny is riddled with every danger one could think of… and a few they couldn’t. Both Magic and Nature rule where only the bravest dare venture creating borders that exist solely because of how lethal the terrain is. Take the Gargantan Jungle for example; a greenscape that is so humongous it makes mountain ranges feel inadequate. It is there where the mortal inhabitants are some of the most resilient tribes to ever grace Terrepikos due to their surroundings constantly trying to murder them. They have domesticated the most ferocious of creatures and nearly mastered navigating the undetectable psychedelic spores. The fatal fun isn’t just limited to their jungle however! Any explorer worth their salt knows the Inkblot Spiders rule the Den of Webs just north of the Jungle and it is common knowledge to never go for a swim in the appropriately named Undertow Lake.

If that were not enough, gods themselves walk these lands.

Although “walk” might be giving them more credit than deserved due to their “godly” ability to pop up just about wherever and whenever they like. Also that pesky title of “god” comes from the fact that these beings are so old and powerful that, yes, some ancient civilizations did call them that for a long time. But nowadays they are called “Gods” in the same way that you call your grandfather “Pappy” because it is all you’ve ever known. There are two of them. A majority of the inhabitants of Terrepikos do not worship them so much as avoid and fear them. They are quite a handful and yes they do come into play a little down the line.

Unfortunately.

There are specks of civilization peppered amongst the map of Terrepikos. Kingdoms, towns and everything in between. Some are ancient and empty, just barely scratching the surface of living memory. However, the main Kingdoms that remain are so far from each other that most communication between them is...well call it what it is; absolute shit. The extent of their knowledge of each other ends with …well knowing about each other. In fact, all of the major civilizations in Terrepikos have grown fiercely independent in the past century or so. Many scholars have noticed and taken to studying this sudden and unplanned era of peace. Many blame the hazardous terrain between each Kingdom and how one could send a thousand soldiers to war and lose half your numbers to beasts and bandits along the way. Others would have you believe that the whole thing is just everyone simply being too caught up in their own businesses that the thought of someone else’s problems was simply out of the question. However the most commonly accepted theory is “Who cares? Just enjoy it.”

While on the subject of those Kingdoms, you’d be hard pressed to find two that are similar. The complex and perilous underground Kingdom acts as the very land’s skeleton; an ancient ancestral architecture currently inhabited by those who did not build them, but need a Kingdom to call home. The Valcion Forest has trees that soar so high, with branches so thick that underneath them the sun never touches, leaving it in a sort of perpetual night. There are even a Kingdom or two hiding amongst the tallest of their massive oaks.. An area that is worth noting but never visiting is the Ruins of Scion. Devoid of life but full of nightmares. Smack dab in the middle of any map of Terrepikos and even the most arrogant of adventurers wouldn’t go…even if you called them a little baby bitch.

And trust me…that usually works.

As you can imagine, with unorthodox lands comes outrageous adventures. Around here they are as common as a sunrise. Most start in the name of a Kingdom, a loved one or some other noble cause. Best not to forget the absolute monopoly revenge has.

Ah yes. A storyteller needs for nothing in Terrepikos.

My absolute favorite tale begins in one of the most unexpected kingdoms, with one of the most unexpected of heroes.

Sir Tinley Ded.

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