Tales of Terrepikos PART 2

Now every story has a beginning and our adorable little protagonist finds himself in a rather peculiar one. Firstly, he was a baby. Secondly he was out on a ledge of the highest tower outside a King’s bedroom on a fateful winter’s night.

“GUARDS! GUARDS! WHERE ARE MY GUARDS!” King Delius screamed into his castle from his chambers. His childlike terror rang all the way down to the dungeons where prisoners laughed because they knew that shriek anywhere.

“I AM BEING ATTACKED! AN ATTEMPT ON MY LIFE-” cut off by his chamber doors crashing open, the Royal Guard of Knights spilled into the room followed sharply by the Royal Advisor striding to the king’s bedside. The knights search the room for the phantom intruder.

“My King! My King! Where? Who? Speak!” the advisor pleaded. But before the king could speak, he pointed terrified to his balcony.

“Oh Kinalta. A creature! A HORRIBLE wailing coming from outside! But how! Birds would have trouble reaching!” These words cause the clanking knights to come to a still silence. After two heartbeats…everyone heard it. To a few, in such circumstances, one would believe it to be a monster or perhaps a spirit of some kind. But to others the noise was unmistakable and frightening. The cry of a baby in need.

Without hesitation Kinalta cracked open the doors, inviting a winter’s bite into the room but also an eerie sight.

A baby.

Still wailing for warmth and perched upon a lethal ledge. Parental instinct fueled Kinalta to gently pick the baby up and look into its watery eyes.

“My poor little thing. Just how did you end up here?” Kinalta brings the child out of the cold and into the royal bedchambers.

“Stop right there!” The king commanded.

“What?? Why?!” his advisor asked; confused.

“We do not know the origin of this child! It could be sent to kill me! I smell a plot!” the King decrees, pulling his sheets closer and closer to his royal chin.

Before Kinalta could even reply the baby started to grab gently at his beard. “Quite the murderer this one.” This conjured laughs from bystander knights. The king ferociously ended the chuckles with;

“Over the edge with it!”

A range of responses exploded in the room but the loudest was Kinalta.

“My King! This is but a baby! Strange it may be, it has committed no crime besides appearing on a King’s ledge.” Kinalta takes a protective paternal step away while openly defying his King.

Kinalta had spent many years curving the more impulsive and unfortunately savage nature of his King. The only thing that outweighs the King’s explosive temper is his trust in his loyal advisor. At this moment the scales were truly put to the test.

“The baby can live but it will not be mine. There are countless orphanages in the kingdom that would be exhausted to have it!”

At this point Kinalta was no longer listening to his King due to the fact that the baby had begun to play with his thumb and that was clearly more important.

“Kinalta! Are you ignoring your King?”

“Of course not! But perhaps if you repeated-” Kinalta began but the full temper of the King had been unleashed.

“Do NOT tell me you plan to be this child’s full caregiver???” This prompts Kinalta to look down into the mysterious child’s eyes one more time fully knowing his answer.

“I believe I am, Rowan.” and with the use of the King’s given name he knew his advisor had made his mind up. With a roll of his eyes he yawns and begins barking orders to everyone else.

“I know I am NOT going to sleep without some protection so… you, you and you! Get in here.” With that, three knights in full armor get under the covers with him. “Everyone else! BEGONE!” The remaining knights leave the room but Kinalta embarks on what some would say is the most worthwhile adventure there is; fatherhood.

Now at this point I would like to check in with the reader. How are you doing? I am throwing a lot at you. Monsters, different lands and godforbid character names…It’s always nice to check in from time to time.

Everything so far is just a little bit of flavor. Some helpful context. What actually matters right now is that raging toothache of a king is Rowan Delius. Now Rowan rules because…well his family always has. The worst reason…and the Kingdom is named Prebes.

The Kingdom of Prebes is so insignificant and boring that if one were to spill on their map and it landed on Prebes they wouldn’t be too sad about it. Mostly because…who cares about that part of the map? It’s not like I’m ever going to go there. I can’t even think of a reason to go there. Here I am…genuinely giving it thought and I simply cannot scrap up a single, even kind of lying, reason to ever want to visit such a backwater and irrelevant land. If someone asked a random resident of Terrepikos “Did you want to go visit the Kingdom of Prebes?” they would most likely go “I would rather break both my legs and do a race!” or more likely that they’ll go “Where???”

Sorry. What was I talking about? Right. Prebes… that is where the baby launching King rules but more importantly it is where that infamous ledge baby grew up.

Being the son of the royal advisor is an interesting thing. You get full access to the castle but you never truly experience royalty. But it was that same lack of attachment that allowed him to venture beyond the castle walls and into the Kingdom his father advises. When Kinalta was tasked with finding a name for this little bundle of joy it was a swift decision.

Tinley. The reason behind this is something Kinalta never told anyone.

Tinley was known by every guard, kitchen staff and prisoner in the Castle of Prebes. Something that wasn’t limited to the castle as his constant mid-day wanders would lead him to all kinds of hi-jinks throughout his childhood.

Tinley was by all interpretations of the term; a goofball. But first and foremost… the most lovable goofball that ever slipped on something anywhere ever. From the moment this child could walk he made his way toward trouble. The fact that he is still alive is a testimony to the child’s ability to somehow survive in the most lethal situations. No matter how deadly, Tinley would walk away with a scratch or bump sure but never anything close to fatal. These constant brushes with death never waned the child’s fantastic urge to seek adventure in all aspects of life. Which is why, as a child, Tinley would love to spend his time in the dungeon hallways.

“I get why it wasn’t fair!” growled the inmate on their cot.

“It wasn’t very nice.” Tinley agrees.

“I mean…this guy spends all day…heck his whole life building up this business and here comes some jerk.”

“You.”

“Right. Me… barges in and demands his whole day’s wages with a dagger. Probably throwing his whole financial timetable out of whack right?”

At this moment Kinalta opens the door, disappointed to see his son exactly where he thought he’d be. Tinley put his hand up, not wanting to stop the inmate’s breakthrough

“... ever since I was a kid I always wanted to sell fabric. Not clothes. Fabric. My mom was a seamstress and let me tell you there is a racket in that stuff. Sailors need it for sails, tailors need it all the time, and don’t even get me started on all the royal types and soft linens!”

This brings Kinalta to silence out of sheer curiosity.

“... while I was hanging from my wrists for a time, I got to thinking… If I would’ve opened up that store… ‘Cut Above’ by the way, and some mug with a knife came in…”

Tinley leans forward in earnest but is swiftly pulled back just in time to escape the inmate’s grip.

“I WOULD’VE SLIT HIS THROAT THE SAME WAY THAT GOT ME IN HERE!!” screams the inmate as he grasps the air where Tinley was.

“Son, when will you learn that Murderous Marty is not to be trusted.” Kinalta said while patting off the dirt on his son’s robes from having to yank him out of death’s way.

“It sounded like he was making progress. Now Marty.” Tinley makes his trademark ‘be honest with me’ look. “That whole thing about the linen shop. Was that real or were you just trying to kill me?” Tinley asks, stepping back into strangling range, to his father’s dismay.

“I was just trying to kill you.” he grumbles.

“Marty…” Tinley chimes.

After a pause he replies “I do… have a passion for satin and… I wouldn’t hate the idea of selling it to folks…” Marty turns away in embarrassment but then finally lets out a very vulnerable “...Sorry ‘bout almost killing ya there Tinny.”

“I know, Marty. Now I plan on being back tomorrow and I want to hear all about ‘Cut Above’ and if you have any insights into how I can make one of my flying machines work.” This prompts Marty to spin around enthusiastically to face Tinley.

“Flying machine??? Sounds like you’ll need canvas! In fact if you-” Marty realized now the royal advisor was sitting in on this conversation, making him quite shy.

“Tomorrow then!” Tinley chirps before exiting with his father right behind.

“Tinley, what if I wasn’t there? What if I had stopped to smell the roses I would have stumbled upon your corpse!”

“You and your ‘what ifs’ father! You were there so it’s fine! I just hope I’m not late for archery practice!” he says, picking up speed.

“You’re taking up the bow and arrow?” Kinalta asks.

“I’m holding the apple!” his naive voice replies booming against the castle walls. Kinalta just lets out one of his signature sighs and proceeds to go stop this “practice” of his.

The following years where Tinley the child became Sir Tinley of the knights of Plebes were no less stressful for his father. His restless heart yearned for adventure! Landing him in countless instances where he dodged death the way a particularly annoying fly avoids a swatter. It is these dangerous escapades that led to him having quite the relationship with the kingdom of Plebes.

Tinley couldn’t walk down the main road without running into someone he’s either helped, bothered or almost been accidentally killed by! Even the grumpiest citizens of Plebes are willing to listen to Tinley go on and on and about the beasts he reads about in his father’s library. His mind is a steel trap for knowledge ranging from impossibly obscure to uselessly random. What has three sets of pincers and only hunts at night during the summer? Tinley will not only know the answer but he’ll know the antidote is goat milk with rosemary.

His genuine desire to help anyone he meets does admittedly play a part in his habit of being in harm’s way. You can only help so many people load a wagon before at least one of them loads you too because it was actually a robbery.

He was returned by sundown with a letter tied to his arm that simply said;

“Keep em.”

There are many ingredients that make up the recipe of why Sir Tinley Ded is the way he is. The core one definitely being his upbringing. The whole reason The Kingdom of Prebes has avoided countless catastrophes was due to the wisdom of Kinalta Ded.

“If there is good to find, it is worth looking for.” A phrase Kinalta has instilled in his son.

Kinalta’s ability is to never act out of emotion… because he knew his King would do enough for the both of them. While the King panics his royal advisor acts. When the king demands blood as payment, Kinalta convinces him a stern warning is a better way to make sure someone isn’t late again. A fact not lost upon the citizens, so they know the apple does not fall far. When they saw a toddler waddling amongst the roofs with a bucket on his head pretending to be a knight, they knew taking care of him was how they repaid Kinalta for his hard work.

Now enough of this set dressing. Mere facts that set up a more prominent story. But for this story to be told right it can’t be told by me. Not directly anyhow. But don’t worry, I’ll be checking in from time to time.

NEXT PART: THE START OF THE TALE OF SIR TINLEY DED!